The Rev. Shannon Blosser sees how his son loves church — the music, the singing, the communion. But the United Methodist pastor said his family hasn't always felt like 11-year-old Noah, who is autistic, has been welcome.
At one point, Blosser’s wife and the couple’s two sons stopped attending in-person services at a church where he served. “If we felt more supported, we probably would have pushed through.”
Many people with disabilities, advocates and families want more religious congregations to know that there are ways to be accommodating and inclusive of people with intellectual and developmental disabilities this holiday season — and year round — and to fully embrace them and their families.
“They just have to have the willingness to be the church that sees the image of God in every child and every adult,” said Blosser, who now serves two small West Virginia congregations that have been supportive of his family’s needs.
Mount Olivet United Methodist Church, one of the congregations, is hosting a “Calm Christmas,” a sensory-friendly celebration and worship, where music will come from a guitar, rather than a piano, and candles will be swapped for glow sticks to avoid any dangers. There are fidget toys and a “visual schedule” to help those needing images and graphics to better process the sequence of events.
Blosser’s message to attendees? Be you.
“Families like mine who feel overwhelmed with just the lights and the cameras and the pomp and circumstance of Christmas Eve, they can come in and be themselves,” he said. “If you need to run around and do laps, ... do it. This is a place for you to be you so you can experience God’s love.”
He hopes it could be the start of something more regular, like a quarterly or monthly service.
Linda Bunk, who was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, a former name for one form of autism, said it’s important to work on not just facilitating accessibility at churches but also fostering belonging.
For instance, ask someone with Down syndrome if they’d like to be on the welcome team or if they sing or play the guitar, suggested Bunk who's a photographer and has served on Christian mission trips, including to Ukraine.
“Let them serve at their ability," she said. “God blessed them with all kinds of talents and if we don’t ask them or welcome them, we’ll never know what they can do.”
Bunk, who has bipolar disorder and lives in Virginia, said she especially likes seeing people with disabilities worshipping with the full congregation, rather than separately.
“Why can’t we have that all together ... and having fun, dancing, singing, eating food,” she said. “It breaks down those barriers of ‘disabilities are scary.’”
Blosser said people with disabilities must be part of planning about inclusion to offer guidance and flag mistakes.
He also encourages congregations to follow the Golden Rule. “What would you want done?” he said. “For most of us, we would want understanding; we would want compassion.”
In Teaneck, New Jersey, Congregation Rinat Yisrael is hosting an inclusive Hanukkah service later this month. The synagogue's Hanukkah minyan, the quorum of at least 10 men needed for public worship, will include Dov Marcus, a congregant who has autism, and who will recite blessings over the Torah.
“The idea isn’t to give him his one opportunity a year to be called up to the Torah for the blessings,” said Stephen Glicksman, a synagogue member and director of innovation at Makor Care & Services Network which supports people with intellectual and developmental disabilities and their families and is co-sponsoring the service. “It’s for people to see that he’s capable of being called out … and then be put on the roster like everybody else who will periodically get called up to receive that honor.”
Organizers said the service aims to give all people an opportunity to pray in a welcoming, accessible and sensory-aware atmosphere that transcends the holidays.
Marcus attends synagogue weekly and Glicksman said he’s often smiling, clapping and humming along during the service. Most congregation members, though, have never heard him because he rarely talks outside his home, Glicksman said.
“The people who are there, I think are going to be very surprised that he has that capability.”
Inclusion, Glicksman said, shouldn’t be viewed as an event or activity, but rather a mindset.
Marcus, who was diagnosed with autism at 2, said receiving the honor of reciting the blessings “makes me happy because I feel closer to Hashem,” using a Hebrew word for God.
His parents became aware of his sensitivity to sounds the first time they took him to synagogue. During the Jewish holiday of Purim, he became overwhelmed by the loud congregation. It would also happen when he heard the shofar — a ceremonial ram’s horn, sounded on Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year.
Growing up, though, he always felt connected to Judaism and would wrap the leather straps of tefillin and pray with his grandfather, a Holocaust survivor.
“He likes the Jewish music, the Jewish service. This is where he shines,” his mother, Debbie Marcus, said, adding that his favorite time is attending synagogue.
During his Bar Mitzvah, she recalls how he recited the blessings over the Torah, making many in the congregation cry with joy.
“To see Dovie light up the room, to be included and respected the way he is and honored — that’s the highlight of the Hanukkah holiday.”
David Mandell, psychiatry professor and director of the Penn Center for Mental Health at the University of Pennsylvania, urged leaders to make their houses of worship hospitable from the moment members enter the door, considering such things as how greeters are trained. The message that all are welcome, he said, should also come from the pulpit.
Other things to consider, he said: Is there a quiet, sensory-friendly room that families can go to when needed and still follow the service remotely? Who in the congregation can volunteer to support families’ needs?
Many families “are not going to come back for the High Holy Days or for Christmas and Easter or for Eid if they feel like their child is not welcome” on a regular basis, he said.
Challenges are not uncommon in religious schools, said Mandell, who worked with his synagogue to train teachers there.
In Wisconsin, Kathleen Krueger said attending church with her daughter, who has cognitive disabilities and autism, was at times very challenging, especially when she was younger. When her daughter had an outburst, people would stare, she said.
That would leave Krueger feeling “very, very sad” for her daughter and “also bad for us because nobody wants to stand out in a negative way.”
The family kept attending services, but she realized that other families dealing with disabilities weren’t doing so.
Krueger led an effort to start a special needs ministry at Mt. Zion Lutheran Church, now part of New Life Lutheran Church in Kenosha. It started with holidays and other special events; monthly Bible classes were later added.
Recently, the ministry held a Christmas celebration featuring such things as cookie decorating, crafts, music, a puppet show and a short service. Krueger wanted attendees to enjoy and “really feel the love of Jesus.” Participants celebrated the ministry’s 20th anniversary.
Krueger recommends faith leaders ask people with disabilities and their families how they can better serve them.
As a mother, she said, she appreciated when members would ask her about her daughter’s challenges rather than being afraid to engage in conversation.
“Everybody appreciates a friendly, loving face to welcome them.”
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